Someone Take Me to Vegas Please


I have a gambling problem. Mine is not the usual gambling problem, I don't have a problem with gambling per se I mostly have a problem with the fact that I am unable to gamble. What I'm trying to say is somebody please take me to Las Vegas. I'm dying here. Must gamble now. Must see the lights; must hear the bells, must stay up all night drinking and saying things like; ‘all in’ and double down’. Uh oh this is bad.

Okay so now it's starting to sound as if I really may have a problem. See it's all because I was reading this book. Let me take a moment to say reading's bad in fact you should probably stop reading this right now because there's nothing but trouble ahead. The book was called 24/7 and it's the story of a man, $50,000, and Las Vegas. His mom and wife come to visit, but it's mostly about him.

Overnight this guy becomes a high roller. He gets comped all over the place. He stays at the Luxor. I wonder if he found some underwear in his room that wasn’t his? This is a great book and I definitely would recommend that you read it if it wasn’t for the whole ‘reading’s bad’ thing. I'm only about halfway through this book and I am suddenly convinced that I am on the verge of a lucky streak. The problem with this is that I have no way to get to Las Vegas. I'm not too sure I can afford a luxurious Vegas Vacation right now if my hunch is wrong.

I could be crazy and just hop a plane to Las Vegas and gamble all night and then come home. Actually that would be kinda cool. Unless of course I lost everything which would kinda suck. This is the problem I face. Pity me. I always think before a trip to Vegas that I will totally bet big and therefore win big, well as big as you can win at blackjack. The problem with this is that once I get there I go all cautious with my money.

I've made a decision. This time will be different. This time I will go for it. I'll play $25 or $50 hands instead of my usual pitiful $5 blackjack hand. Of course the end result may be a complete and total loss of all funds. Then again I could win big and spend the day at the spa. You see life is a lot like Las Vegas; you have to take big chances to win big. Unfortunately I'm not very good at life, so perhaps taking this strategy to Las Vegas wouldn't be the best move I ever made. I suppose it's just one of those things. Still I’m always sure something great is around the next corner and you never know unless you try. Someone wanna take me to Las Vegas? Now? Please?



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