I'd Like One Aura Cleansing Please


I have this list of things to do before I die. It's not written in stone or anything, and I add to it occasionally when something strikes my fancy. So far I've crossed a few things off the list, like traveling to Greece and Italy. I've attempted some of them, like learning to speak Italian. Still there's one item on the list that seems so simple and yet so out of reach. See, I want to have my aura cleansed. I know what you're thinking, I could send away for this kit and do it myself, but I really want to go to Sedona, Arizona and have it done.

I'm not really sure if I even need to have my aura cleansed to be honest. I spent a half hour or so staring at myself in the mirror today and although I much less happy with the size of my ears, I'm still unsure as to whether or not I have a dirty aura. Although since my luck really seems to tend toward the bad, I don't imagine it's all that pristine. 

Wouldn't it be weird if you could see people's auras? I wonder if people who can read auras, are born being able to read auras. Do they pick on other children on the playground by saying things like, "Ewwww your aura is soooo gross."? Although they're supposed to be all peace- and- loveish so maybe not. Maybe they were more like, "Oh you poor thing your aura is such a mess."

I had a boss once who supposedly snuck into an abandoned house deep in the forest when he was just a kid and as soon as he walked through the door it slammed shut and he was only able to escape through a window.  According to him for years after this odd experience, he could see people's auras. He said he could tell if someone was sick or near death because they had a dark aura.  Was he telling the truth? Who knows. He was a nice enough guy, if a little strange, and much nicer than his wife who was also my boss and who to my knowledge never had the capacity to read auras ever.

I'm not much of a new-ager myself, but if you look on the internet there are tons of sites that tell you how aura cleansing can change your life. I wonder what would happen to all the unemployed people in the bay area if they all went and had their auras cleansed? Would they magically find well paying jobs. In fact after a spattering of research, I find myself wondering how I can afford not to have it done. 

After all if you could ensure that wealth, power and true love would come into your life wouldn't you do it? Okay, so I don't really believe in all that crap either, but it is an excuse to go to Sedona, and I hear they have really good spas there. 



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