October 20 - Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because it was standing in front of KFC
lady walks into a bar and sees a tall, dark, handsome
guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and
asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer",
She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but
after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"
"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the
window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window. The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."
He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real mean drunk.
October 6 - An octogenarian who was an avid golfer moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club. He went to the Club for the first time to play but was told that there wasn't anybody he could play with because they were already out on the course. - He repeated several times that he really wanted to play today.
Finally, the assistant Pro said he would play with him and asked him how many strokes he wanted for a bet.
The 80 year old said, "I really don't need any strokes as I have been playing quite well. The only problem I have, is getting out of sand traps."
He did play well. Coming to the par four 18th they were all even. The Pro had a nice drive and was able to get on the green and two-putt for a par. The old man had a nice drive, but his approach shot landed in a sand trap next to the green. Playing from the bunker he hit a high ball, which landed on the green and rolled into the cup. Birdie, match and all the money!
The Pro walked over to the sand trap where his opponent was standing. He said: "nice shot, I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps? "
Replied the octogenarian "I do, would you please give me a hand."