Musings From The Litter Box
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I can't believe this. Every time I think I've escaped the little people, they come back. Worse news, now there's two of them and talk of a THIRD!! What is Jeeves thinking allowing these little humans to invade my space like this? They are always trying to grab at my tail and stuff. Shouldn't there be something in the cat rule of law to protect me from these home invasions. I think that cats need to have a union. Maybe I can start my own union. Lets see, there's evil twin cat next door and the skinny cat down the street. Then there's - oh never mind, that cat's such a snob. Wait there's the gray cat down the street, oh wait we can't invite him, he's kinda mean. I hear he needs sedatives before they can even give him a bath. You know what I think I'm going to take a nap. Meowyawwwwwwwn.
D. K.
Jeeves and I seem to be at a bit of an impasse these days. I notice that when I ask Jeeves very politely to please let me go outside I get no response at all. Well unless pulling the covers over one's head is a response. Sure it's the middle of the night, but what is Jeeves there for after all if not to attend to my needs. I mean Jeeves could sleep during the day if it wasn't so important to go to that mysterious 'job' thing. I just don't understand humans. So I woke Jeeves up at 3:30 in the morning, I had a perfectly valid reason to do so. I wanted some Fancy Feast, and also I thought it might be nice to get some fresh air. I tell you, I'm unappreciated.
D.K.
I tell you, Jeeves has a lot of bad qualities and I mean A LOT, but still Jeeves does come through with the Fancy Feast. I do love my Fancy Feast. I think my favorite is the diced beef in gravy. Oh wait, maybe it's the chicken, or the turkey. I tell you, I really can't decide at all. I'm just glad that Jeeves seems to have given up on that horrible wait watchers stuff I had been subjected to for so long. I tell you, if I'm comfortable with my girth, well then Jeeves should be too. After all I really am only big boned. Well I hear the can opening. Gotta go. Meowwwww-bye
D.K.
So Jeeves decides that I smell bad or something so I have to go to that Vet place to get a bath. I honestly don't understand what it is with Jeeves and this whole bath thing. Just 'cause my fur was a little matted. So what, I mean with the hot weather and all it's hard to keep the fur all smooth and stuff. So anyhow, I had to spend the whole day at that vet place. Jeeves tried to make it up to me, getting me this really cool comb thing and brushing me, and I thought it was pretty cool. I still had to stalk off in disgust of course, because it really wouldn't do to let Jeeves think I had forgotten about the vet thing already. Ya know, you have to keep 'em on their toes.
D.K.
Oh my gosh, now there are two small humans. They were both at my house today. Of course one of them is too small to come after me, but the other one is 'gasp' walking now so it's almost impossible for me to escape. I tried to hide behind the table, but it was no use. I finally had to go outside. I don't know what's wrong with these humans anyway.
D.K.
I hate all this hot weather, it's totally making my fur matt. Now if you've ever had matted fur you understand what I mean when I say it's not fun. Not to mention that it's not a good look for me really. While I am always more attractive than most cats, still this has been a bit of a hit to my self esteem. Plus it seems like Jeeves is always gone to some mysterious place called work. Not to mention the fact that my food dish is filled only once a day. I tell you I am not having the best summer ever. Somehow TV and Cat Fancy makes me feel somehow lacking. I mean the cats in the magazine seem to be having nonstop fun all the time. Is life passing me by while I nap? All this thinking has made me tired. Meowyawwwwn.
D.K.
I've been living high on the Fancy Feast diet. Like all good things this too apparently must come to an end. Jeeves went to the place that shall not be named and picked up some of that weight watchers food. For the last time, I AM NOT FAT. I am simply big boned. If only Jeeves would realize this and stop making me eat that disgusting weight loss food. Seriously is there really a reason I should lose weight? What will I sleep better, or eat better? Of course not, and since eating and sleeping are pretty much what I do, I don't think I need to lose weight. It could be worse, I've heard of cats that were forced to exercise. Maybe if I walk by Jeeves and suck in my stomach it will seem like I've lost weight. Meooww.
D.K.
Jeeves doesn't realize that I am a growing cat and I need to be fed constantly. I should be getting Fancy Feast at least three times a day. Does Jeeves do that? No of course not. I get FF in the morning, and the Jeeves goes off to someplace called work. I always thought Jeeves worked for me. It's hours until Jeeves comes back and even then I don't get fed immediately. I have to have a talk with Jeeves about my meal schedule. This twice a day thing does not work for me.
D.K.
Jeeves has this new thing where I'm supposed to be happy hanging out outside all day long. Now don't get me wrong, I like outside as much as the next cat, but I think I should be the one making the choice to go outside. I also think, and I'm sure you'll agree, that the very instant I want to come in a door should immediately be opened for me. Tsk tsk. If only Jeeves could understand that. I'm sorry to say that Jeeves has been a little slow in grasping the concept. I fear I may have to look for new help. Meowwwww.
D.K.
I went to have something to eat today and I suddenly realized I couldn't get anywhere near my food. Some human had put something in front of my food dish and I couldn't get anywhere close to it. And of course I was starving. I practically fainted from hunger. Humans just don't get it. How would they like it if I put my litter box in front of the refrigerator. I bet they wouldn't like that at all. Hrmm that gives me an idea.
D.K.
Humans always think us cats have it so easy. According to them all we do is eat and sleep and then eat some more and then do a bit more sleeping. This is true, but what humans don't get is that there is a delicate balancing act in finding the exact right amount of eating and sleeping. It is key to make sure one doesn't sleep too long before waking up and eating. If you sleep too long, you'll wake up too hungry and then you'll eat too much and then you'll have trouble getting back to sleep.
Also, it's important to get one's sleeping done during daytime hours since as a good cat it is my duty to wake up Jeeves as many times as possible during the night. I can meow really loud. Scratch on the side of the litter box. This particular sound is magnified the later it is at night. Also the whole clawing while you stretch thing is fabulous. You don't get in trouble, but you wake Jeeves up. I'd tell you more, but a cat should have some secrets.
D.K.
I haven't written in a while and I'm not sorry either. I have a difficult life you know. The little human has been around and I am constantly on the move to try and avoid it. I'm almost afraid to fall asleep when it's here, because of the thing with the wheels that allows the little human to move almost faster than me. It is a desperate state of affairs, let me tell you. Oh no, here it comes. I must make a run for it.
D.K.
Jeeves is the worst human ever. You want to know why? Jeeves subjected me to a 'gasp' bath. Sure I was a little odiferous, but seriously it's like cologne. Really. Humans just don't get anything. I am so flabbergasted by the whole thing. Then Jeeves made me stay in the house all day yesterday, something about rolling around in the dirt. I'll tell you though, I got out today and made a point of sitting in every dirty spot I could find. I am my own cat, and Jeeves can't control that. Ha Ha-eoooww
D.K.
Jeeves left me out again last night. I don't think it was on purpose, but still it shows a real lack of commitment on Jeeves part. I signed up to have someone who would cater to my every whim. Jeeves just might not have what it takes. In fact this morning Jeeves was so rude and totally woke me up. If I woke up Jeeves that would be one thing, but it just seems so unfair that Jeeves would dare to wake me.
D.K.
I have noticed a reduced desire on Jeeves' part to cater to my every whim lately. This is something I, of course, find to be very distressing. I used to get my wishes granted with a modicum of fuss, but now.... I had to whine for a good ten minutes this morning before Jeeves broke down and gave me Fancy Feast. Sure Jeeves put dry food in my bowl, but you know if you eat that stuff it only encourages them. 'Sigh' I just don't know what I'm going to do? I may have to replace Jeeves. The thing is I might kind of like - I mean I have Jeeves trained is all and good help is so hard to find meowwww.
D.K.
I admit that occasionally to remind Jeeves who is really in charge I will neglect to come in when called. After all a human needs to be taught that a cat does not take orders. I have to tell you I really thought Jeeves understood this ... Until the other night. See, I go outside and Jeeves comes to the door and calls for me to come in. I ignore Jeeves so Jeeves rattles some paper in a vain effort to make me think there are treats around. I ignore the second attempt. Then, and this is the way it is supposed to happen, Jeeves comes outside, picks me up and carries me into the house for the night. Except that the other night it didn't happen that way. Jeeves said, 'Okay if you want to you can stay out all night' and before I realized what was happening Jeeves was gone. What was Jeeves talking about? Me want to stay out all night? Well you can imagine the talking to I gave Jeeves the next morning. Jeeves will never do THAT again. Although just to be safe I mostly stayed inside today.
D.K.
So there was this small human around the other day that kept pulling on my tail. Let me tell you, I was Meownot amused. To make things even worse, the bigger humans were all smiling like the small human was being amusing. I gave Jeeves 'the look' all my fellow cats know what I mean. But all Jeeves did was smile and pat me on the head. How meowpatronizing. Vengeance is mine sayeth the cat.
D.K.
Oh no. After all the humiliation of the shaved butt thing and the trauma of the constant medicine I thought I was safe. Sadly it's not over yet. I hear tell there are some 'gasp' shots in my future. I don't know what I'm to do. Now I no-longer feel bad about the incident earlier this week where I threw up right next to Jeeves' head while Jeeves was asleep. the most obnoxious thing was that when Jeeves got up, Jeeves actually had the nerve to yell at me and didn't feed me immediately. I had to wait a whole 20 minutes for my food. Good help is so hard to find.
D.K.
Yayyy for me I finally am free of my stupid stitches and can roam free in the back yard at will. It has been a very difficult time for me as you can imagine, but I’ve come through with flying colors and I even lost a whole pound. Not that I put any stock in that whole dieting thing mind you, but I’m feeling positively svelte. My stomach no longer drags on the floor when I walk. What a difference a pound makes. I just hope Jeeves doesn’t get any crazy ideas about exercise. After all I have a delicate constitution and too much exercise might upset the wonderful balance of my life you know, eat, sleep chase random rays of sunlight (not too fast though) eat grass and throw up in the most inconvenient (for Jeeves) place possible. I tell you, that is the life.
D.K.
So it's been a tough week for me. Today for the first time in 8 days I have been allowed outside. The sun was shining and the weather was purrfect. It was a welcome relief from the tedium that my life has become. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I spent most of the week wearing one of those lampshade collar things. In addition to the fact that it was humiliating, it made it difficult to eat. Since eating is one of my favorite things this was really a problem. Then you add to that the fact that Jeeves was trying to poison me by putting this disgusting stuff in what food I was able to eat. Sure Jeeves called it medicine, but like I've always said, you can't trust humans. Hopefully life will get back to normal soon. I wonder how long it will take the hair on my but to grow out.
D.K.
I was right about Jeeves diabolical plans. I had to spend a whole terrible day at the 'gasp' VET. Anymeow, I'm meownow recovering from surgery and the ensuing catmiliation from the whole shaved but thing. I'll try to write next week.
D.K.
Jeeves has been whispering around me lately. I think that means a potential visit to that horror of all horrors, Dun Dun Da - THE VET! I must walk softly (not easy for someone of my girth let me tell you). I must be ever on the alert to make sure that I am not fooled by Jeeves. Not tricked by promises of Fancy Feast and tarter treats. Jeeves is always trying to get on my good side before a vet visit. Probably a fear that I'll hide under the bed. I can still fit under there you know. Well I'm going to make sure, I wouldn't want to find myself on the wrong side of a vet visit you know. See you Meowater.
D.K.
Jeeves brought out the big green monster. It was so loud. I was sleeping quietly in the middle of my bed when I was very rudely awakened by the noise. You would think Jeeves would have the decency to not bother me when I'm sleeping. True I sleep a lot, but I'm almost always awake between the hours of 4 and 5 am so Jeeves can take care of the noisy housecleaning stuff then. I tell you, I'm like the Rodney Daingerfield of cats. I get no respect.
D.K.
I didn't get to share my story last week because Jeeves wouldn't let me near the computer. Jeeves claimed there were some problems with it. Personally I think it was the dog's fault. I'm not sure which dog, but problems, I've found, can usually be traced back to a dog. I mean you really can't trust them. All that drooling and licking people's faces. Seriously can you trust a creature that just likes people so much? I sure can't. And the shedding don't even get me started on the shedding. Anyway my lack of musings last week were solely Jeeves fault. Oh and the dog. Meeoow.
D.K.
Jeeves let my food run out. I know it's shocking isn't it? I mean seriously every cat knows that his or her food storage container should never be less than half full. Plus a food dish that you can see the bottom of is like the major faux pas of the feline world. Humans don't seem to understand anything. I am so tired of trying in vain to get Jeeves to follow the basic rules of the cat world. For instance, there's the whole sitting on the couch thing. Jeeves seems to think that I can be told where to sit and more importantly where not to sit. When will Jeeves realize that cat's must live their own lives, all nine of them. Of course it never hurts to keep a human around to fill the food bowl. Meow.
D.K.
So there were more humans than usual around and I was only trying to be polite, but no Jeeves has to come in and pick me up around my stomach and carries me out of the room. It was so catmiliating. Then all the other stupid humans had the audacity to comment on my girth. I mean seriously. It's not like they were all the picture of health or anything. I mean they're just so quick to judge me. Let me just say they're really lucky I don't speak human or I'd have a few choice comments for them. Meowwwwww meooooooooow Mmmmmeow, MEEEEEEOW.
D.K.
Life as a cat is very difficult. I think humans don't understand how hard it is for us. I mean you have to carefully plan your day. First there's the eating, then the sleeping. Then if you can fit in into your schedule you have to go outside and sniff stuff. I'm sure to you humans that doesn't sound like a lot, but anything that cuts into my sleeping time is really a nuisance. Not to mention all the time I spend writing this diary. I gotta go get some sleep now.
D.K.
Yippie, Jeeves finally has done something I wanted. For Christmas this year Jeeves got me my new larger litter box. Just to make sure that Jeeves doesn't think I actually appreciate it (I know I do, but it's a cat thing.) I made sure to cough up a big hairball in the middle of the bed. It doesn't do to let the human think they're in charge. Well I gotta go explore my new place to muse.
D.K.
Jeeves has done that weird human thing again this year. Jeeves actually got a tree from the outside somewhere and brought it into the house and set it up. Then to amaze me further Jeeves put a bunch of lights on the tree and started hanging randomly shaped objects on it. I just can't understand the weirdness of humans. I mean seriously what is the point of all this strange behavior? Then just to make it even more worrisome, there are boxes everywhere. See I know boxes mean moving and strange places and weird cats. These boxes are different though, these are covered in really obnoxious paper with really loud patterns. I think this warrants further inspection. A few well placed claws should solve this mystery. rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrippppppp. Oh no Jeeves is here. Must Run. MEEEEOOOOOWWWW.
D.K.
How dumb does my human think I am? Don't answer, that's a rhetorical question. Anyway, Jeeves went to that Vet place and bought the good food I like which is cool, but Jeeves also bought more of that crappy diet food stuff. Then, you won't even believe this, Jeeves mixed the two together. I think the point was to fool me into not realizing the crappy food was there with the good food. I am so disgusted. I think I may have to spend some quality time ignoring Jeeves in the next few days. Unless of course there is some Fancy Feast in it for me. I'll keep you posted.
DK
I know this will freak out my fellow felines. I had to go to THE VET. It was so awful. I had to ride in that tiny cat carrier. Obviously I need something a little bigger. Then I had to listen to all these people at the vet's talking to me like I'm a moron kitty. Ohhhhhhh you're so pretty (uh hi I'm a boy -I am handsome not pretty dumbass) Then they were making that dumb clicking noise like they expect me to come running. Totally ignoring the fact that a) they had no food and I never come when called unless the human has food. and 2) I couldn't exactly come running when I couldn't get out of my carrier or even really move around in it. Humans! Can't live with 'em can't live without the food source. One good thing though. Jeeves felt so guilty about the vet I got fancy feast and tarter treats every day for a week.
D.K.
I have made my Christmas list and right at the top of it is a roomier litter box. I'm telling you, the one I have now was not made for a cat of my uh stature. I need something a bit roomier. I hear that they have fancy stuff at some of the fancier pet stores. I do hate the word pet. It implies that Jeeves somehow is the one in charge here. That is obviously false, but humans are strange creatures who seldom make sense in anything they do. Anyway, back to me. I need a bigger litter box because the one I had was obviously made for a younger cat. I am not old by any means, but I am mature and have a larger uh girth than a kitten. Anyhow, I'm just hoping Jeeves is paying attention, because Fancy Feast alone isn't going to do it this year.
D.K.
I heard Jeeves talking about Thanksgiving. I'm not some dumb cat, I know what that means. It means the dogs are coming. Every year about this time these humans come to visit and they bring with them these hideously big dogs. These dogs tower over me and they bark a lot. They're always trying to make friends with me. Please like I'm gonna be friends with a dog. I mean they drool. ICK!!!! The one good thing is that I have them trained. A well timed hiss and they stop in their tracks and refuse to move forward. Now if only I could find a way to keep them away from my food and water without having to guard it all the time. Must go think....Meooow
D.K.
I think that there should be some sort of group to further the cause of felines everywhere. We should have Fancy Feast three times a day. I need one of those fancy heated cat beds. Plus there was this leopard print cat hammock thing that was pretty cool (Don't judge me for my taste - I'm a cat). I want a heater to sit in front of every day and I want actual heat to be coming out of it. I want strings to chase and to catch them occasionally. None of those stupid demeaning kitty toys stupid humans create. Oh yeah, I want to chase a dumb plastic ball just because it has a bell inside it. Whatever!! Well, more on the cats bill of rights later. I see Jeeves and I want to play some fake mouse fishing pole. Meoooooooooowwwwww.
D.K.
I have a confession to make. I always wanted to be on of those renegade cats like on the TV commercials. I mean those cats throw parties and stuff. My idea of a party is fancy feast for one. I think that I'm letting my 9 lives pass me by. Am I old before my time? I mean sure I'm more likely to sit around doing nothing than the average kitten, but then hey I did that when I was a kitten. Notice I didn't say average kitten, because I have never been anything so hopelessly boring as to be average. Who cares about this silly stuff anyway? If I had a party I'd have to share my fancy feast, this way I get to eat it all on my own. Oops, gotta go I hear the can opener.
D.K.
Oh so Jeeves has brought another bag of that horrid weight watcher food home. How many times do I have to explain that I am just big boned. So I have a little bit of trouble jumping up places. I mean jumping along with other forms of exercise is highly over-rated. I mean I'm not against a little game of fishing pole mouse, but these cats that are always running around and climbing. I mean what is the point. Of course this attitude is what brought that bag of weight watcher food into the house.
Still I'm not worried, if I whine enough, eventually Jeeves feels guilty and gives me Fancy Feast. It's actually quite amusing how easily I can manipulate Jeeves. Unfortunately I won't be able to put it off forever. Eventually I'm gonna have to eat the crappy food. Oh the feline-ity. I must go practice my pathetic whining now. Must keep crappy food away.
D.K.
So I really like Jeeves I must admit, although if reminded I would of course deny everything. Like today for instance Jeeves has procured from somewhere a sort of fishing pole with a mouse-type object attached on the end of it. This thing is amazing. I mean I chased it around the yard for hours okay so like 30 minutes. Still it almost managed to elude me several times and I think that as feline amusements go this thing is top notch.
Not that this will have any effect whatsoever on my complaining. I'll still do lots of that, it never does to let the human think you're happy with it's behavior. Oh I gotta go Jeeves just got out the mouse pole. Must Catch Fake Mouse.
D.K.
All week Jeeves has been jabbering on and on about some place called Reno. I was very excited, I mean as a cat I almost never get to go anywhere, well except the back yard. So, you can imagine my complete and utter disgust when I realized that 'gasp' the human was going without me. What nerve!
So after leaving me alone for a WHOLE NIGHT, well let me tell you this is NOT a nice place to be alone in the middle of the night. I mean it's not like I pay attention to Jeeves, but it's nice to know Jeeves is there to be ignored.
Anyway, Jeeves comes home all giddy or something about winning a bunch of money or maybe it was giddy about not losing a huge amount of money. I mean who really listens to humans when they talk? But here was Jeeves, totally going on and on, ignoring the terror I experienced being left all alone for what seemed like ages. I really think it's time to hire a replacement. Maybe I'll put an ad in the paper. After all, Jeeves is always talking about how bad the job market is so it shouldn't be too hard to find someone new. MEEEEEOOOOWWW gotta go Jeeves just served me some Fancy Feast.
D.K.
So Jeeves has been neglecting me. I know, I hired Jeeves specifically so that I would be fawned over and paid attention to all the time. Now for some reason Jeeves is always leaving. For the past week Jeeves has been gone for more than half the day every day. I tried to complain about Jeeves behavior, but the people don't speak cat. I meowed till I was hoarse and the stupid humans just stared at me like big dumb humans. I tell you sometimes it's really hard to be a member of a superior species. I'm not really worried though let's just say I left Jeeves a little surprise in the room where Jeeves sleeps.
Oh Jeeves is coming in I must go run in front and see if I can cause a tripping incident.
D.K.
So I totally put one over on Jeeves the other night. See Jeeves has, as I have mentioned before, this idea that I am incapable of surviving at night outside. Anyhow, I was sitting out in one of my favorite spots, and Jeeves comes out looking for me and I saw, but I chose to remain quiet. After all Jeeves is always going on and on about how I talk to much and telling me to 'give it a rest' whatever that means. So let's just say I decided to follow the request for once.
Well, as I sat in my spot, Jeeves went all over the back yard, shaking the Tarter Treats bag and calling to me with that insulting 'Here Kitty Kitty' thing I mean come on is there a cat out there that doesn't think that's insulting. Oh yes great human you have called so I will rush in. What meow Ever! I think I had Jeeves pretty much fed up and then someone turned on the outside light and I was caught like the proverbial deer. Of course I made Jeeves carry me in and I might have gotten a few good scratches in too. Oh I gotta go I wanna get back outside before it gets dark. Meow.
D. K.
OK, talk about unfair. Jeeves has me trapped in the house and all the cats in the neighborhood are having what sounds like a really raging cat party on the roof. I have tried desperately to get outside, but Jeeves keeps mumbling about a new roof and refuses to open the door. Jeeves obviously thinks I'm totally stupid.
How do I know it's a cat party you ask? Come on, I mean it's not like dogs would be smart enough to get on the roof and have a party. If a dog was smart enough to get up on the roof, he would just freak out and start howling. Let me tell you, dogs are not great in crisis situations. I have nothing against dogs mind you, well except for the drooling. I'm really not a fan of the drooling.
Anyhow, back to the topic. I know all the pounding noises coming from the roof are a huge cat party and Jeeves just thinks I'm too young. Come on stupid, in cat years I'm like way older than Jeeves. Besides I've had a hard life so that makes you grow up faster. My first butler left me in the care of a reasonably nice lady who had way too many other animals. That's where I first encountered the whole drooling dogs thing. Anyhow it was a bit after that that I hired Jeeves and I've been with Jeeves ever since.
Even if everything else is ignored, Jeeves works for me so I should have the final say on what parties I attend and - I have to go. I think someone unwittingly left the door open so I must take this chance to get to that party. I wonder if their will be any cute kitties there? Meow Bye.
D.K.
I am so angry at Jeeves. I can hardly even believe it, but Jeeves took off and left me for like a month, or maybe it was only two days ago, how should I know, I'm a cat I don't wear a watch or own a calendar. Anyhow, I just don't understand it, how can Jeeves stand to be away from me even for a minute? I mean I'm like the most purrrrrrrfect cat ever. It is so hard to find a good human these days, They're always so selfish. I want to to this, I want to do that, don't throw up on my favorite shoes, stop shredding the furniture. I think I need a new owner, one who puts my needs first. Three helpings of Fancy Feast a day and all the Tarter Treats I can eat. I wonder if I should put an ad in the paper. I am done with Jeeves and upon return, I will tell Jeeves that as soon-.
Meow, I gotta go Jeeves is home, must get petting. Meow ya later.
D.K.
So Jeeves treats me like I'm a baby. I mean I really like being outside at night. I am a king of the kingdom of the night. Well, I would be if Jeeves would ever let me go out at night. I stare out the door at the darkness beyond, and I long with all my catness to be out in the night. I am a cat and my place is outside. I am tough and wild and I will fight any animal of the night. This is something that Jeeves just can't understand. When it starts to get even a tiny bit dark Jeeves comes running out to bring me in. Why can't Jeeves understand that I am a wild animal and can't be tamed or forced to live by human clocks or human rules. Oh the feline-ity.
Oh my gosh, it's getting dark out here. Where's a cruel overlord when you need one?
D.K.
Today I faced the big green monster. When I walked up to it it was just sitting there calmly appraising me, although I couldn't tell were it's eyes were. Then all of a sudden it roared. Then it started to move toward me across the carpet. I could here the sucking sound it made as it ate everything in it's path.
I looked higher and I realized Jeeves was behind it. Could Jeeves catch it in time to save me? I backed up a few steps. All of a sudden I was up against the wall. There was nowhere to run and the big green monster was coming ever closer.
Then it was over as suddenly as it had began, The roaring stopped and Jeeves calmly wrapped the monster's tail around it's neck and carried it off. I would have followed to see where the beast's lair is, but I had a pressing engagement. The patch of sun I was supposed to take my noon nap in was rapidly heading across the floor so I had no time to waste on the big green monster. Somehow though I have a feeling the monster and I will meet again. Meowwwn Well I gotta take that nap now.
D.K.