Knock Knock*

Joke of the week

Because it's too hard to be funny every day


September 20 - Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.

"Well, that's good," the boss went on. "Since
your grandmother  stopped in to see you after you left early yesterday to go to her funeral."
 


September 7 - A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach.

The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, told him, "If you wish to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."


August 23 - At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly once compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."

Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement, "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"


August 16 - A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

The bartender says, "Sorry I can't serve you,"   

"Why not?!" asks the number twelve angrily.

The bartender says, "Because you're under 21,"


August 7 - A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.

The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."
 


 

August 2 - Bob is sitting at the coffee shop, staring morosely into his capuccino.

Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts, he asks Bob what the problem is.

"Well," said Bob, "I ran afoul of one of THOSE questions my wife asks. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Tom.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her if  she got old, fat and ugly."

"That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will!"

"Yeah," said Bob, "that's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO.'"


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* Send me a joke or something you think is funny.  

I need help I can't be a laugh riot all the time.

                            **Sent in by a reader.

Reilly Sheridan
Copyright 2003  Last Straw Productions. All rights reserved.
Revised: September 19, 2004.