Cold Car

So I'm driving to work this morning and I'm thinking how damn cold I am. See the heater in my car is broken and I refuse to get it fixed. It's not like I really can't I mean I do have credit cards and stuff. It's more that the fact that I (or Citibank and I, if you want to get technical) have put over $1,000 into the damn car in the last year. New brakes new rotors, new other random stuff I don't know what is. So when I paid them the $85 fee to check what was wrong with my heater I was (foolishly) hoping that would be the whole cost. I know I'm stupid, but I really prefer the term optimistic even though I'm beginning to be of the opinion that they're the same thing.

Be that as it may, I only paid $3,500 for it when I got it so the thought of putting even more money into makes me want to scream. Unfortunately having no heater means having no defroster so I'm freezing my ass off and I can't see anything. In a random bit of irony, the weather, which was passable, has suddenly turned freezing cold and/or rainy. Not to say it wasn't a little cold before, but I honestly don't think I needed to use the defroster hardly at all before it broke.

Well this morning there was ice on the windows. I poured water over it and turned on the windshield wipers. This was very dumb of course because the water immediately splashes all over me. Of course the one time I didn't turn on the Windshield wipers the water I had just poured on the car froze into ice and so I had two layers of ice on my windshield instead of the original one. The end result of my little windshield wiper adventure was that my clothes were now quite damp in spots.

Finally unable to postpone my departure, I got into the car that had been running for 5 minutes. It was actually colder inside the car than out. How is this possible? The other thing I don't get is how my fingers can be so cold inside my gloves. I thought the whole point of gloves was to keep my hands warm. I gritted my teeth and pulled up the hood of my hoodie. Didn't help. I roll my window all the way down in hopes of somehow defrosting the windows. It doesn't work.

 I come to an intersection. I need to turn left, but I can't see anything out the right window. I roll it down as far as it will go (not far since it's broken) After a minute of trying to see out through the tiny opening I take a deep breath and floor it.  Luckily, though not surprisingly, no one is coming down the street and I make my turn safely. I head onto the main road and, damn I have to roll my window down again.

Okay, windowís down. Okay I canít see anything. Since itís so cold my breath is coming out in puffs of white. . These are rising up and blocking my already obstructed view. I hold my breath for a moment. While this solves the problem, itís not really a solution since breathing is a pre-req for living. Swoosh I let out the breath Iíve been holding. Hrmm there has to be a solution for this. I roll the window up. The windshield immediately fogs up worse and I can still see my breath. Also itís really foggy outside so itís like Iím floating through some creepy surreal world. Not unlike what I said about my first scuba dive.

I squirt wiper fluid on the windshield. Nothing. I lean forward and wipe the glass. Okay that just smudged it. Finally Iím at the end of the super long street.  I turn the corner and Ö thereís more FOG?!?!?! Wait thereís not supposed to be fog once you turn into town. I can barely even see the time/temp thing. This sucks.

I must have forgotten about them in light of all the other terrors, but I suddenly realize I canít feel my fingers. It appears theyíre still working, since they seem to be clutching the steering wheel, but it must be instinct since I canít feel a thing. Or maybe theyíve just frozen that way and Iíll get to temp-work and not be able to un-attach them from the steering wheel. That would not be good. What if theyíre just frozen in that position? People will just call me The Claw. That might be bad for my self-esteem.  

Itís not much farther and finally I turn into the parking lot. Itís still super foggy and what with the whole no defroster thing, I narrowly miss hitting someone who jumps right in front of my car. Turning down the nearest aisle I pull into a parking space. I turn off the car and get out. Ahhh, itís much warmer out here.

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