What to Do
I was reading Dear Abbey the other day and there was a letter from a guy who was complaining that he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. He had had a job in his field, but was bored and quit because he decided he didn't like it. He said he didn't want to do anything, unless he could get a job watching TV, so he wouldn't get any job. Now while I do have problems with his refusal to work at all, the underlying question is a valid one. In fact it's one I ask myself almost daily.
What do I want to do with my life. What is my purpose what are my goals? The answer is... well I don't know what the answer is. All I know is I don't want an ordinary life or an ordinary job. I know that sounds snotty. I mean who the hell am I to think that I deserve some special fancy job. That isn't really what I mean. I'll work almost any job, and I have. I worked for a psychic hotline once (data entry) I was an overnight receptionist (this job was so bad I actually talked to a wrong number for 45 minutes out of boredom) and also a night auditor (now that was a crappy job. I ended up writing a paper about how awful it was for Poli-Sci and got an A).
I don't mind working I just want work I can be proud of something interesting and that makes a difference. I want to do something creative. Be witty and sassy and be noticed and acknowledged.
I just wish sometimes that I didn't care so much. I wish I could be one of those people who's happy just having any job. Someone who could settle because when it comes right down to it, settling is what makes the world go round.