Ask a Stupid Question...

So here it is, the holiday is upon us and many of you will be forced to endure those questions that come from those occasionally well meaning relatives you see only once a year okay well twice, since you might see them at Christmas. To help you out on what might be a difficult day, here's some advice on how to answer that awkward question about what you're doing these days, which is of course code for 'Have a job yet?'  Now there are a few different ways to deal with this annoying question. Allow me to offer some advice.

You can answer literally. 1. I'm eating turkey or 2. I'm watching the game.

There's always the old standards. 1. If I tell you I'll have to kill you (cue nervous laughter) 2. I work for the government, very hush hush.  

You could be inventive. 1. I run the Ferris Wheel at the Mall of America (I don't think there is one, but they won't know that). 2. I am a food taster (this would be a cool job except for the whole might be poisoned thing).

You could try to change the subject by telling a long drawn out kind of job related story. For instance: I saw this ad for people to ride around in those clown cars. I mean how cool would that be. I thought about doing that, but then I realized I don't like clowns. See the thing about clowns is they're supposed to be funny, yet many people find them scary. I blame this mostly on Stephen King.... Just go on like that for a while and they'll eventually fall asleep. Gotta love turkey - all that tryptophan.

Now some of you might feel bad about giving smartass answers. I mean these people are just being nice right. Yeah right, since when is family nice to you. They're trying to belittle and humiliate you, your only hope is to attempt to humiliate them back. If you have one of those nice families (whatever) they won't ask these questions in the first place. Happy Thanksgiving.

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