Knock Knock May

 

May 24 - A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He
can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia
Whack.
 
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a
holiday."
 
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his
name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad
is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank
manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan
with some collateral.
 
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a
tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright
pink and perfectly formed.
 
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to
consult with the bank manager and disappears into a
back office.
 
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called
Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and
wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as
collateral."
 
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in
the world is this?"
 
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
   
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."

 

May 17 - A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer.
 

The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.

The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.

Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?"

"I haven't got any money!"

 


May 10 - A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."  The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" and the man replies, "No, just spots."
 


May 3 - Why do you always see short people ask tall people if they play basketball, but you never see tall people ask short people if they play miniature golf?

 

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