How to Give a Cat Medicine

If you ever have to give a cat medicine, allow me to give you my sympathy. This is never fun and in fact can be dangerous. It never hurts to have the doctor on speed dial. Before you began it's important to make sure you have hydrogen peroxide and Neosporin. These ostensibly would be used to clean the cat's stitches, but there is a very good likelihood you'll need them yourself before this is over.

Once you're ready to administer the medicine, first stop and put on some gloves. I can't stress this enough. They may provide you with scant protection, but it's better than nothing (see above about Neosporin). 

To a non cat-owner, it may seem strange that cats don't want to take their medicine, but what can I say, they don't. A cat will do, or want to do whatever is the exact opposite of what you want it to do. As an example; DK is the most vocal cat on the planet, but if you put a phone in front of him he immediately shuts up and won't so much as breath until the phone is removed. This was ascertained upon my last trip to Europe when DK's sitters thought it would be cute for him to 'talk' to me. 

Anyhow, back to the point. Once you have the gloves on it's advisable to get some sort of surgical mask. This is because once the threat of medicine is imminent a cat will somehow manage to shed his or her fur in great tufts. It will fly off their back and toward your mouth which will be open because you're screaming in frustration. If your mouth is not covered it will immediately fill with fur and you will began coughing which will cause you to lose hold on the cat. 

Ten minutes later when you've coaxed the cat out from under the bed, or table, or couch, or ... well you get the idea, it's time to try again. If the medicine is in dropper form, simply pry open the cat's jaws and squeeze a dropper out down his or her throat, allow jaws to shut (taking care to remove your fingers) and you're all done. Well that's not exactly how it will be. 

What will probably happen is the cat will somehow manage to avoid getting so much as a drop of medicine down his or her throat. Instead you will, most likely, be wearing the medicine and the cat will be off to the side licking it's paws, or if it's wearing one of those awful cone hats, simply glaring at you. Also, since they've yet to develop cat-proof gloves, you probably have scratches  and/or bites all over your hands and arms. 

But the cat needs it's medicine, so apply the hydrogen peroxide and Neosporin, put the gloves back on and - oh hell, who cares anymore, just have a drink.

 

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