August What to Watch
August 27 - Watch the Olympics. Come on I know I told you to last week, but you didn't listen did you? Now poor NBC might have to cancel something you might actually want to watch. Well today's your chance to make up for it, so watch some Olympics already.
NBC All Day
August 26 - Sometimes by Thursday you're just wore out by life. I've got just the thing, Scooby Doo. Cartoons are the answer. Really they are.
August 25 - Did you ever want to be a cheerleader? I totally did. I even tried out once. I totally sucked at it. I am perhaps the most uncoordinated person ever. If you too one day dreamed of going to nationals, watch Bring It On today.
USA 1:00pm (2000)
August 24 - Not sure if you're in the mood for a comedy or a drama? Well you're in luck because today's movie has both. So watch Limelight today and feel happy and sad. Or I guess neither one if the characters aren't really engaging and stuff. Or maybe hungry if they're eating a lot. Don't you hate it when you're starving and you have no food in the house and you're watching something on TV and they're eating all the time. That totally bugs.
TCM 10:30 (1952)
August 23 - It may be the best 'take the day off and do whatever' movie ever made. So watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off today and see if you can remember what it was like to say what the hell and ditch all of your responsibilities for a day. Because after all everyone needs a day like that once and a while. It's even worth getting up early for.
TBS 8:00am (1989)
August 20 - Cold war spies and international intrigue (probably) abound in today's movie 'The Spy Who Came In From The Cold'. So if you need a spy fix to get you through till Alias returns in January, this may be the movie for you.
A&E 2:00pm (1966) Richard Burton
August 19 - Hey this is election year and today's movie is about an election. Plus it has Jeanie in it. It's good to know she worked again after that. What ever happened to Major Nelson. Oh that's right he became JR and famously got shot. Anyway, Jeanie and some guy play opposing mayoral candidates in Opposites Attract.
August 18 - There's nothing like annoying people. If I didn't have job I would probably never get to see annoying people. If that was the case I would totally watch 10 Things I Hate About You. There has to be an annoying person somewhere in that movie.
August 17 - Sylvester Stallone trapped in a tunnel with no escape? How could that be? Will he find a way out? I guess you'll have to watch Daylight and find out. Or just admit to yourself you don't really actually care what happens to him or anyone else in that dumb movie. Sorry, did I type that, I meant to just think it.
USA 2:30pm (1996)
August 16 - They only happen every four years so shouldn't you watch at least an afternoon of them? Come on cheer on the USA in diving and beach volleyball, or something else if the guide's wrong. Because seriously does it matter what sport it is? Aren't the table tennis athlete's and the badminton guys and gals just as important as the gymnasts and swimmers? Go on, cheer for them.
NBC all day.
August 13 - Once upon a time there was an evil robot who came from the future to kill some chick because her son would lead the people who fought the robots. So a guy came to save the woman and he ended up being the father of the son who would save the world, which is kind of ironic because if the evil robots had left well enough alone there would be no son, but whatever. Anyway the evil robot is played by the guy who beat me out for governor of California and the movie is called Terminator.
August 12 - Today's pick stars Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne. They live in a western town and one's a gunfighter, but the other one is I think a lawyer and lawyers were really revered back then, how times change. So anyway there's this really bad outlaw and.... you know what you'll have to watch if you want to find out about The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.
August 11 - I could really use a bunch of money. Apparently so could the people in today's movie because they send a nephew, played quite wittily I'm sure by Michael J. Fox, to steal a gruff uncle's fortune.
August 10 - It's Tuesday and the it's way too hot to go outside, so why not just stay in and watch the Three Stooges. You'll stay cool and of course laugh hysterically.
August 9 - Why should you watch Real Genius today? Because it's a moral imperative of course. Besides where else can you see a house get jiffy popped. See now you'll watch it just to see what that means.
8:00am COM (1985)
August 6 - It's a monster movie about scary under sea creatures. This one happens to be a giant Octopus who grabs a sub that just happens to have a terrorist in it. Then I assume chaos ensues and lots of panic. It's not much of a stretch if I was in a sub and a giant octopus grabbed it I would totally panic.
USA 9:00am (1999)
August 5 - Laugh at the movie stars with today's quirky pick LA Story. There are so many things that seem like inside jokes, but you'll totally get them so and you'll feel like a Californian. Although some people from other states may not think that's a great thing, but I couldn't imagine living anywhere else.
COM 3:00pm (1991)
August 4 - Can't afford a European vacation, well it probably wouldn't be that much fun anyway. You could end up staying with people you didn't really know and standing in a fountain while some guy steals your camera. Why not just watch some other poor schmuck suffer through that. Oh look, European Vacation is on today.
COM 3:00pm (1985)
August 3 - "ROUS's rodents of unusual size? I don't believe they exist" and "Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do." Know what those mean? Well then watch Princess Bride today.
AMC 3:30 (1987) Cary Elwes
August 2 - Do a little singing and dancing today. Watch Grease and rock out 50's style. Come on admit it, you love this movie. Okay let's have a quick quiz. Did you ever moon over a guy while listening to Hopelessly Devoted to You? Ha! I knew it. It's okay, everyone else likes it too.
AMC 2:00pm (1978)